Are your 4-year-old twins driving you crazy?
Do they don’t listen to you?
Do they go wild together?
The age of 4 is exceptionally transitionary. With all the changes in behavior, routine, and independence, 4-year-olds behave a little irrationally sometimes. Disciplining one child of this age would be challenging, but disciplining two of the same age would be an everyday battle.
We understand it is tough to handle twins of this age because they become more independent at this stage. Two together will make parents’ lives miserable if they give them a tough time.
In such situations, it is the greatest challenge for the parents to make the twins disciplined. Unfortunately, sometimes, one behaves well, but the other is most likely to provoke him to misbehave by teasing him or throwing a tantrum.
In this blog, we have tried to come up with tips and tricks to tackle 4-year-old twins who are not listening to their parents.
4-Year-old twins not listening? Follow these tips to make them more well-behaved:
Here are a few tips you can follow to make your 4-year-old twins disciplined.
1- Give each of them individual attention:
It is easy to say that giving each of them full attention would make them listen to you, but in reality, it is incredibly overwhelming for the parents to divide the attention between each of the twins.
But it is not impossible to do so. Try to tackle both as per their behavior rather than as a collective team. Work on each of their destructive behaviors separately.
2- Give them a timeout when needed
When they wreck the home, give them time-out in different rooms with no toys. Give them time to realize that they have done something wrong together.
Separating them would allow them to work on their mistakes individually.
3- Put them on a strict schedule
We know 4-year-olds are still little kids who have just entered a learning phase, but for twins, the parents must focus on a strict schedule.
To keep your sanity normal, you as a parent need to work on your routine as soon as you are born. Their sleeping and eating time should be strictly followed as soon as they enter toddlerhood.
4- Try a reward chart
It seems like we are creating a competition among the twins, but reward charts make a massive difference in their behavior.
So make a reward chart where you can collectively mention their drawbacks and reward them for behaving well against them.
Each child should have their own reward chart.
5- Try giving them different tasks if they become wilder together
Twins copy each other a lot, so if one behaves wild, the other will join him. So when you see such behavior, separate them and deal with them one at a time.
If you are preparing them for bedtime, ask one to clean up one side of the room while the other uses the washroom, cleans his teeth, and changes into PJs. Then, when the other one is all set, ask him to clean the other side of the room and get the other child dressed for the bed.
6- Countdown method
Countdown methods always work with naughty kids. However, you must try the countdown approach if they are mischievous around the house and fighting together.
Tell them you have been noticing them for a while, and it’s time to stop. Start counting to 10 slowly so that they know that mommy is giving us a warning.
7- Distract each of them with their favorite activity
Your twins must have a different favorite activity that they love to do without any interruption. Offer them different rooms to divert their attention from each other. Ask them to stay in their room because Mama is watching them.
8- Take them out for a while
Keeping up with twins all day can be challenging. Try to make a routine of taking them out every day.
It can be a walk to the nearest park or grocery store. Engage them in different tasks, ask one of them to count the flowers on their way while the other counts the cats.
9- Take help from your partner for one-on-one attention
If you see one of them troubling you more, take help from your partner to give one-on-one attention to the troublemaker.
Take him away from his twin at bedtime and talk to him alone. Summarize his whole day’s activities and politely emphasize that he needs to listen to you on certain things.
10- Keep them involved in house activities
The best way to keep them busy while you do your house chores is to involve them in it.
Assign them to age-appropriate tasks such as putting the dirty laundry in the basket or cleaning up the mess they made together.
You can also involve them in cooking by giving them easy tasks like picking parsley leaves or peeling peas.
Mistakes to avoid when raising 4-year-old twins:
Avoid these mistakes when you have twins:
1- Not defining clear and consistent rules for your twins:
Twins can test your boundaries to any extent, so to avoid battles at home, define clear and consistent rules for both.
But remember, these rules must be called out now and then. Their habit will be built upon continuous reminders. Don’t expect them to listen to you the first them.
Both twins should have the same rules. Never define separate rules for them. This brings jealousy, low self-esteem, and hate when they grow up.
2- Taking the side of one twin:
Between the children, there is one who is less naughty than the other, so never take his side for being nice around the house. If the other one is putting him in trouble, ask the troublemaker separately to behave nicely.
Refrain from scolding the naughty one in front of the one who generally behaves well all day. Instead, counsel the more mischievous child alone.
3- Don’t ask them to share things
Most parents believe that sharing things makes a child socially sound, but in the case of the twins, parents hope to teach them the value of sharing by forcing them to share.
In this way, one of them, usually the well-behaved twin, gives up on his desires and waits for his turn to use that certain thing.
4- Don’t ask the well-behaved twin to compromise
Sometimes parents ask one child to compromise with the other to have peace in the house. Don’t take advantage of your twin who behaves well than the other one.
You are putting his self-respect down and making the other one rebellious and stubborn.
5- Never correct one in the presence of the other one
Never correct one twin in front of the other instead, correct them collectively. 4-year-olds have high self-esteem.
For example, if one is troubling the whole day while the other is calm, tell the troublemaker (when he is alone) to copy his well-behaved sibling for some time, and both will be rewarded with some yummy snacks they love.
6- Don’t compare them with each other
As I said, never correct one twin in front of the other. Similarly, never compare them. Don’t give examples of a well-behaved twin to the other one who messes around the house. It will bring sibling rivalry as they grow up. Instead, focus on the naughtier one through one on one attention.
4-year-old twins do not listen because they have each other’s back. The best solution is to separate twins for some time and giving each of them your individual attention. Give each of them different tasks and never compare them.
Time-out in different rooms (with no toys) is a suitable disciplining strategy for preschoolers.