4 year old with mom

Do all 4-year-olds talk a lot? – How To Deal?

Does your 4-year-old talk a lot?

Does it become overwhelming for you to answer all of his random questions?

Is it not normal to talk constantly?

Well, kids are very expressive and vocal about feelings. They love to talk, especially preschoolers who have just learned to speak in sentences. So they might not stop and go on until somebody asks them to stay quiet for a while.

At the age of 4, kids usually talk easily without repeating words, though they still struggle with pronunciation, they can convey what they want to say. Similarly, by this age, they can understand two- three-part commands like “Pick up your toys and go to bed,” or “ask daddy what he wants to eat and tell me”, or “Color the picture and put the paper in your bag, “ etc.

Being a talkative kid is not a bad thing. It shows how much he observes his surroundings. But when the conversation is never ending and happens at the wrong time and place, then it can turn the parents and surrounding people off.

Do all 4-year-olds talk a lot?

Children of this age talk a lot because they have newly learned the language. Though they still struggle to speak in a flow, they keep asking many questions that come to their mind.

4-year-olds  will observe their environment keenly and try to tell you everything in a flow. 

We understand that Sometimes it gets overwhelming for the parents to answer their endless questions and respond to them every time they tell you a story, but the good news is that talking a lot and asking many questions is a sign that a 4-year-old is intelligent. They are just so curious and eager to learn.

Some studies have claimed that an average 4-year-old child would ask at least 100-200 questions every day, which means you are not alone.

child talking to mom

Is it normal for a 4-year-old to talk consistently?

It is usual for a 4-year-old to talk about something they’re excited about consistently. They might ask questions about random things. Maybe he finds everything attractive around him and wants to share.

Sometimes kids talk non-stop when they are stressed out. They talk and talk and just don’t know how to handle the stress. In such situations, parents must see their patterns to seek medical help.

For many kids, over-tiredness is also a cause. When your 4-year-old is sleepy or has had a tiring day, he will talk non-stop. 

Also, if your little one is talking non-stop and doesn’t wait for your response or answer and keeps on talking, it is best to see a doctor. We’ll talk about this in detail by the end of this article. 

The 4-year-old talks about random things:

As parents, sometimes we get frustrated with the thousands of questions our kids ask because we think as adults. On the other hand, a kid does not consider that asking too many questions can put off someone’s mood.

At this age, kids are learning hunters, and their brains are developing quickly. So at this phase, they ask about every random thing to know about. Of course, that could be random for an adult, but it would be interesting to talk about for a kid. 

Moreover, 4-year-olds have a powerful imagination. They will talk about their thoughts and things you can’t imagine, but just because they have supposed it, they want to share or discuss it with their parents.

Sometimes kids also talk about the dreams they have seen. 4-year-olds may or may not have an idea what a dream is, but if they remember what they saw in a dream, they will want to share everything with you.

Do 4-year-olds talk with toys and themselves:

Parents probably noticed that once their kids started talking even in chunks, they would often see them talking to their toys. Of course, 4-year-olds often do that, especially with their favorite one. 

As a parent, you’d wonder if it is suitable for their development or a  weird gesture. First of all, we assure you that this is a prevalent practice by children of this age. Preschoolers like to make stories while playing with toys. Sometimes they try to copy cartoons or movie characters.

Talking with toys and other stuff is part of their imaginative play. Sometimes, kid’s at this age will talk to themselves too. They are playing a “pretend play game.” the key is never to judge the child as weird or harmful.

Some kids of this age have imaginary friends with whom they pretend and play. It is common for kids to play around with their toys and talk to someone else. It does look creepy when you see them talking to someone looking at a space, but they are talking to an imaginary friend they made a long time ago.

How to get a 4-year-old to stop talking so much?

Well, you cannot get a 4-year-old to stop talking so much as it’s their nature. Talking in full sentences and clear communication is new for them. They get to see many new things that are normal for you. They have many questions to ask about those new things.

They have many stories to tell, and their brain wants all the knowledge. Trying to get them to stop talking will suppress their emotions, and they will start to avoid asking questions.

So, instead of getting them to stop talking a lot, you can provide them with alternatives and make them practice conversation skills. How? The next part is about that!

How to deal with a talkative 4-year-old?

Having a child who always speaks and wants you always to respond can be annoying. But it is also essential to give them answers. Of course, you can’t stop your child from talking, but a few tips might help.

1- Try to answer when it is important.

Only sometimes, intervene when the child is talking. Try to figure out which is self-talk and which is intended to share with you. We understand children won’t stop talking unless they get the answer, so make it a high priority to give them a small response to show that you care about them.

Besides this, help them figure out what thoughts should be shared with you and what needs a reply.

2- Give him alternatives.

If your child talks a lot, the best way is to keep them busy with things like story books, legos, board games, arts and crafts, blocks, puzzles, and pretend & play toys. All these activities need attention and brainstorming. 

Even if they talk while doing these activities, it is okay. They won’t bother you sometimes, but before you give them any activity, tell them you are busy for a while and don’t need any disturbance.

3- Set timing to sit and talk

Every child needs attention and affection, even if he does not talk much. They want to spend time with us as much as possible, and, honesty, these are the years parents would cherish all the time.

Take out time to make purposeful conversation with them. For example, it could be their lunchtime, dinner, or before bed. Ensure you are not doing anything else when talking to them. Dedicating a slot in a day will become a habit for them, and they will eventually wait to speak to you.

child doing yoga

4- Teach your child the deep breathing technique:

Deep breathing is a relaxation exercise. It’s not only for adults. You can make your little one practice this technique to bring focus and control their emotions. 

4-year-olds can easily follow your instructions to do this exercise. Make them inhale through their nose, hold it for 2 seconds and exhale through their mouth while focusing on their tummy. 

When your child talks excessively and cannot stop, you can ask him to take 3 deep breaths and then continue. The child will be more focused and calm after this exercise. 

5- Give them a chance to talk.

Don’t make them “Shhh” the next moment they say something. Instead, give them time to talk. For example, 4-year-olds sometimes struggle to put their thoughts into words. Suppose they are taking so long to tell what they want to say. Then, play it like a game. Tell them to go and think about what they want to say and come back.

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Get a sand timer and let your children ask anything or say anything before the timer is out. Then, he has to stop talking. 

two 4-year-olds talking

6- Engage them with children of their age:

Allow them to play with kids their age in the neighborhood or with family. In this way, they will interact with them and share their thoughts. The advantage is that they will get responses how they imagined it. When the mindset and thoughts of the kids match, they love to spend time with their friends.

7-Don’t be harsh.

We understand it gets frustrating and annoying when your child comes to you literally after every minute. An overreaction can happen, but be mindful of your behavior. Don’t yell at any cost, and avoid negative comments like “ You never stop talking,” “ I am fed up with your talking,” Go and don’t disturb me, “ etc. these harsh attitude will only bring shame and makes them inferior.

Instead, politely tell them that you understand his feeling about sharing everything, but it is impossible to hear him all day. By this, he would realize that no one gets undivided attention in this world.

8-Tell them your emotions 

4-year-olds are more prone to emotions. So they understand when you share your feelings with them. If you’d be happy, then the kids would be satisfied. But, on the other hand, you will be unreasonable if you are restless or angry.

Tell them politely how you feel, like “ Hey, Darling, I am tired. Can you give mommy some alone time?” or “ mommy is feeling a little sleepy. Will you be a good boy for a while?”.

Sentences like these bring positivity to them, and they act pretty nicely.

9- Practice how to talk in a conversation

When you are in the middle of the dedicated talking time, tell them it’s not good to talk between people. Instead, always ask them to initiate the conversation, and hear them quietly so they can learn how you acted in the conversation.

Wait for your turn to respond, and before answering, tell them that now you have finished talking, I will speak, and you will listen. There would be no interruption. This way, they will learn self-control and talk only when needed.

10- Share codewords when to stop talking

Children always learn in a fun way. For example, make codewords or a sign to show when the kids are talking a lot. Like waving your hand to let the kids know they are speaking for so long and going out of the track.

11-Set small rewards

Practice silence at home. Start with a short span, like 5-10 minutes, and ask them to put their thoughts in the drawing. Then praise their silence and draw like a cheerleader. Set small rewards like baking his favorite cake, cooking his favorite food, or doing something together he loves.

When to see a doctor?

Excessive talking is usually expected for kids at age 4, but it can also be a sign of ADHD. If you notice other symptoms like 

  • Poor eye contact.
  • Continuously interrupting the conversations.
  • Unable to see the other person’s emotion.
  • Difficulty in reciprocating the conversation.
  • Distracted during the talking sessions.
  • Need help figuring out 2-3 words commands.

, then it is best to seek professional help. 

Final words:

Do all 4-year-olds talk a lot? Yes, almost all 4-year-olds will talk a lot. They have an imagination, and they are very eager to learn. They now have enough grip on the language and communication, but at the same time, they have lots of questions to ask about each and everything. 

Excessive talking and asking many questions is also a sign that your child is brilliant. Unusual excess talking is usually a result of over-tiredness. 

What you can do is, know when to respond and how to respond. Talk politely and positively. Make your little one practice conversation and understand when they have to talk and when to listen. Dedicate some time to your child. Get a sand timer to give them a chance to talk and ask anything they want. 

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